Every time I want to be minimalist and I swear that this time I’m done with the complex fabrics, loud colors, and patterns that make it hard to get dressed in the morning because it requires a lot of creative effort to mix and match, I see a photo or a collage of Miu Miu wares and I am renewed again.

Creativity and playfulness is the whole point of “personal style,” no? Otherwise we’d all look the same if we subscribe to the same capsule collection of Kam pants and white t-shirts and I guess a lot of easy-to-match black.

I completely subscribe to dressing according to my mood—which sometimes is pitch black, 100% tomboy, and sweatpants—but I can also dress happy! I can be minimalist and colorful. I have an all red outfit now that I would have never even dared to wear a decade ago but love now because of how it makes me feel.

I’ve been so focused on finding and defining in my style after all this time and it’s hilarious that I feel just as lost sometimes as I did back when I started my blog. My body has changed, my weight, my skin, my hair, they’re all again and I’m embracing it.

My job has changed, and my attitude towards many things, people, and places, and things has also changed—like brunch at noon (I get up early now! naturally!), or crowded loud bars ( I cannot hear you and this angers me!), and experiences in my life that have left me a bit jaded and guarded about the trustworthiness of people in general (live and learn, etc.). These changes are all good, and they are boiling away daily at my core until they rise up to the center of my brain and become a concentrated filter where all my decision making happens now. (I’m using a distillery metaphor but I see now this can also be describing a bong. Sigh. I think it’s stronger that way? Whatever, moving on.)

I’ll probably never figure my style out 100% forever. It’s just not possible because it’s everything is always moving. Have my style do’s and don’t’s all written down like some sort of cake recipe would be nice but even that would get boring after a while—because if you know me I manage to fuck up even the simplest of food recipes with my creative impulses to try something different and mix it up.—and I think that’s just okay. As long as it’s a fun process I’m still game to play.